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Love & Commitment, Let's Just Appreciate The Present



Love and commitment, it doesn't have to mean the same thing. When it comes to love, commitment requires love. But does love really have to involve commitment?

Before I continue, let me say the obvious. I am not someone who knows everything about love. Who in this world does? I am young, and am always learning every day I live this life.


Love is something we all define in our own way. It doesn't always mean exactly the same thing for everyone. I wrote about my perception of love and my thoughts of true love back in 2012 and 2013. I've also talked about love in lesser amounts since, through my songs, and more in regards of friendships. What do I think of love now? What is it?

I have not had a relationship since my long distance relationship ended in 2013. To say I've not felt love since, that'd be a lie. I am more open than I was then.

I see love now less about life committment. Instead I see it more about just having a best friend to share an adventure with. Whether that adventure is for life or until our road goes different ways, only time can tell. Life commitment is marriage, it's having beautiful kids to raise and see grow into adults and lead a life of their own. A relationship doesn't have to be that.

Don't go around and cheat because of "no commitments". That is not cool. A relationship itself does have commitments. But love doesn't need them to love. You can be in love, but just not be in the time or place in your life for commitment.

Back when I was 17, I wasn't in the place for commitment. I was in love, but I wasn't completely committed, and even though I did things that obviously reflect that, to say I realised? I did but I didn't. I just didn't see the bigger picture.

I don't excuse myself in anyway, or anyone, but I was much younger, in a different place in my life, and if that was her, I wouldn't hold a grudge against her. I was in love. She was in love. But it was a long distance relationship with a parent that couldn't take it. To say that didn't take a toll on either of us would be insanity, hence why that just couldn't carry on.

We are beings who long for affection. We make mistakes, we get confused, we take our issues out maybe not in the best of ways, and at a younger age especially, we are too shamed to let others in that we aren't able to keep committed, only for things to take a turn for the worst when stupid relapses are found out in other ways. Again, cheating isn't cool, especially not so in a commitment for life that is marriage. But neither is being one sided.

Love, be open. We aren't perfect. We all aren't at the same stage in life for the same things. Maybe we might never be. I want to travel this world with no set expiry. If someone wants to share that journey on my road, whether they stay, or there is a fork further on down in the road, I want to just appreciate the present.

I do want to raise kids later in my life. Have them grow up on my journey with someone who wants to stay by my side. That then is most definitely commitment, and I am not going to be my father who thought the grass was greener on the other side.

But until that, I am open to love, but a love that acknowledges we may go our own ways. If it does, let's just cherish what we had through that journey, and live for another day. If together we happen to stay, let's just continue appreciating what we have.

I do not want to have the same happen again that we promise we will never part, but then reality hits, and one of us is stuck trying to not let the other go. Even in a life commitment, you cannot stop the other person from going if that's what they really want. But that's why it's so important to not rush. Why rush when you have your whole life?

Love is having someone to share this journey. You don't have to be the soul mates you're both looking for to love. Love knows no bounds. This is a saying that you'd probably think of that is endless and is for true love. Love is most definitely endless, but it also is limitless in the ways you perceive it.

Love yourself, love a friend. Take a friend on your journey, have an adventure to share. Just enjoy the present whoever you let into your world. Don't wait for the perfect someone. We are perfectly imperfect so give more than that one special person in your mind right now a chance. Don't hold yourself back on what you cannot have.

I am a firm believer still that what is meant to happen will. If you and someone are meant to be together, you will, only time can show you that. But you have to be open to it and do your part also. Don't wait for that special someone to come to you. Also don't just be so focused on finding that person that you aren't living your life happy as an independent person. But do not close your heart. Do not close the door for others to share your life, whether your intentions there is for romance, or just platonic friendships.

It's ok to not be ready for commitment. That doesn't take away what love you have for someone. If it's something that's meant to be, only time will tell. Save the total commitment to when you are sure. What good is dropping what will be your journey for the sake of following someone on their journey that isn't true to you?

For years I've been uneasy on ever defining myself in a relationship again, even if I happened to have one since I broke up in 2013. But an open relationship, that is something I would be open to defining what I have with someone as (excuse the bit of a pun).

An open relationship, that is for you to define how you and whoever you are with agree. To me, it is about being open to that our lives are ever changing, we can't promise we'll always be together on the same path, so let's just appreciate today and see where tomorrow goes.

Love, is a crazy part of life. With time, we are ever expanding and changing how we see and define the meaning of love. I can't say I will always see love this way completely how I see it now. We may think we know everything about love and then suddenly someone comes into our life who just throws that out of proportion.

I don't completely agree with everything I thought of love back in 2012/13. But I do still agree with a lot, I'm just ever expanding the way I see love the older I become, and that's just how life is.

Don't stay wallowing in your emotions stuck where your company isn't wanted. Place your heart where you and your company is wanted. This applies to friendships, relationships and your blood relations as well. Follow your road in life, don't drag yourself along roads that you don't want to go down.

Love to all, and let empathy, openness and compassion be a major part of your life.


Need to talk to someone?
In the UK, Samaritans can be contacted on
"116 123"
In Australia, Lifeline can be contacted on
"13 11 14"
In the US, the suicide prevention lifeline is
"1-800-273-8255"
Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org.


Date Published: 12th May 2019
Posted in: Friendships, Heartbreak, Judging, Love, Love-Hate, Pressure, Relationships, Self-Esteem,
Open-Relationships

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